Thursday, December 8, 2011

Milfive - My Talk with the Martian King

We arrived on Mars, where I was immediately taken into custody. After several weeks in Martian prison (which is quite comfortable, although the food was not to my human tastes) I was brought before the Martian king.

King Kriggruneg, the Martian king, was finally escaping the entrapment of the net I had thrown over him (how it took them so long to figure a way out of it, I will never understand). As they cut the last strands that bound him, the king asked me my name, which I gave him. When he asked how I knew the Martians were arriving, how I knew his name, and how I knew the best way to defeat them, I told him it was a lucky guess. Miraculously, he believed me.

“It is obvious to us that you are a great thinker from your world,” he told me. “You must be a leader of some kind, perhaps of the military?”

I told him I was a former King of Earth who had been exiled to the prison that they had landed in. Kriggruneg told me that they were under the impression that it was a school, a place of learning, which they had landed in. I corrected him that it was a prison for former leaders. He said he could see how the mistake was made, and the matter was settled.

With the formalities out of the way, King Kriggruneg invited me to a royal banquet, telling me that Mars could use great minds like mine. He laughed when I asked him if he meant for eating, although I couldn’t discern the exact cause for his laughter. It was at the banquet where I was first introduced to the king’s family, including his seventy-four daughters. Martian women are taller and shapelier than Martian men, being about the same size as Earth women (though most seem to be a bit taller). They shared the large, bulbous eyes of the men, and but had hair where the men did not. We had a great feast, but it was afterwards that the king told me the plight of his seventy-fifth daughter.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Milfour - My Second Time Being Invaded

We had just reached enlightenment when all hell broke loose.

The Martians arrived, as I had anticipated. When they presented themselves, I recognized (from my time spent as a colonized human) the king Martian. I called him by name, which got the attention of the Martians.

I was brought before the Martian king, whose name was Kriggruneg. He asked me how I knew his name, and also how I spoke Martian (I spoke Martian). Instead of answering I threw a net over him. He was so confused that he ordered the ships to leave, and they did, never to bother Earth again.

It was a pity that I was still on board.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Milthree - My Abduction by Venusians

We were watching Dr. Kirk surfing in Hawaii on YouTube when suddenly I was abducted by aliens. Now, these were not the Martians who had by this point converted all written text on Earth into Martian. No, these were the Venusians, long-time rivals of the Martians (or so I’ve heard).

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Miltwo - My First Time Being Invaded

We had just reached enlightenment when all hell broke loose.
The saucers came down from the sky, with the largest landing in the center of the campus garden. Little grey men came out, with large eyes and long, gangly arms and fingers. They were all dressed in very formal-looking attire, with the most formal of the bunch directing traffic.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Milone - My Enlightenment

We were in Philosophy class when our professor, Dr. Kirk, answered the meaning of life. One of the other students had asked him a question, I couldn’t tell you now what it was, and it was as though his old face had lost forty years. He brightened up, and began writing on the board and spouting what he had discovered. When he was done, the entire class had become enlightened.

PolkAMVs - Code Polka

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Wrecking the Sandbox - Red Dead Redemption

Due to the limitions of my recording device, there are some sync issues towards the end. I apologize, and will try and fix this before I do another one of these.