We had just reached enlightenment when all hell broke loose.
The saucers came down from the sky, with the largest landing in the center of the campus garden. Little grey men came out, with large eyes and long, gangly arms and fingers. They were all dressed in very formal-looking attire, with the most formal of the bunch directing traffic.
“We need all teachers to please step forward,” the formal one said. Dr. Kirk, and the rest of the recently-enlightened staff, did as they were told. He reached up with his long appendages and tapped each of them on the forehead, and they all left. We never saw them again. Another alien began to address us.
“We are aliens,” he said. Someone in the group said that we could all plainly see that. “We come from Pluto.” The same student from our group pointed out that Pluto is not a planet. “I meant to say, we come from Jupiter, the largest planet,” the alien corrected himself. The same troublesome student pointed out that the aliens appear to be carbon-based, and Jupiter couldn’t support life such as theirs. The aliens directed the outspoken student to the front of the crowd, where he was promptly vaporized.
“We come from Mars,” the head alien said. We all agreed that that was a much more suitable place of origin. We were directed back into the school buildings, leaving the singing squirrels in the lawn as we returned to class. One of the aliens, in fact it was the head alien, came to replace Dr. Kirk.
We continued like this for several weeks, learning Martian tongue and history. When we asked what had happened to Kirk and the others, we were told he was enjoying himself in Hawaii. If the troublemaker from before had still been there, I very much suspected he would say this was a lie.